Arrested Development

It's been well-documented that the current generation of 20-somethings to 30-somethings are in a phase of "arrested development." They've been dubbed the "boomerang generation," coming back to live with their parents after having left the nest for university. People can't seem to agree whether this is a result of how awful the economy is now or whether it's because the boomerangers (doesn't really have the same ring to it as baby boomers, does it?) have been raised as spoiled little brats and want to keep living in the lap of luxury until long after the age when their parents were out earnin' a livin' the hard way. While I am not defending the arrested development of the boomerangers (get a job, hippy!) I have firsthand experience with some baby boomers who are only enabling bad situations.

Hey Look! A boomerang!

Did you ever get advice from someone who has never even remotely been through the experience you are dealing with? It's like when your redneck cousin who dropped out of high school tells you how you should write your advanced graduate thesis in thermo-nuclear-astrophysics... Or have you had someone give you advice on something they shouldn't be involved with at all? Like when your Mom tells you what to put in your Facebook status... Or maybe you've had experience with someone who repeatedly tells you everything is a "good experience" when, in fact, it is not... For example, you've just finishing swabbing and shamming the deck after a race and the captain's brother pukes all over the winch b/c he didn't know how bad Land Shark beer is, but your aunt turns it into a lesson in bad stewing, "You should cover the winches with plastic when you're done with them, like I have over my couch."

In my experience, baby boomers who have the biggest problems with their boomerangers usually take the above approaches in dealing with their kids. This is a recipe for disaster. It results in extreme meddling in issues in which nobody (of any generation) wants their parents involved:

Mom: "I was on Facebook before work this morning and saw someone called "Abras Saturday Night" posted new pictures of you...is this a friend?"

It also somehow creates a total lack of real concern and insight on issues that actually require some guidance and parental advice and experience:

"Go ahead, quit your job if you're not making enough, I'm sure you'll get another one really quickly because you're my little Einstein, and while you're at it, touch the cornballer!"

There also appears to be a complete lack of consistency among baby boomers in trying to teach their boomerangers about the value of a hard earned quid. For instance, they tend to bitch about the quality of life they have raised their lil boomeranger to expect:

"I have to give Johnny an allowance so he can afford his rent but when I was 16 my father kicked me out of the house and made me stand on my own two feet"

Yet they perpetuate standards of living that they should damn well know are out of the price range of their floundering offspring:

"Ew, you buy your groceries at Walmart? Can't you go to Trader Joe's? I don't even think Walmart has the gluten-free organic chocolate chip cookies I enjoy while watching C-SPAN."

At the same time, baby boomers reward irresponsibility because of their own warped sense of what their children "need" in order to survive in society while at the same time marvelling at how materialistic today's youth are:

"Johnny's iPod got stolen from his locker at the gym so I just got him an iPad because I thought it was an upgrade from his old one."

I implore baby boomers to stop this ridiculous enabling behavior if only because I'm tired of hearing you bitch about your children and all you're still stuck doing for them. Buying iPads and encouraging your children to expect to buy gourmet food when they're making minimum wage is not helpful. Furthermore, your continued harping on the good ole days of yore when you were forced to sink or swim in the ocean of society because your parents changed the locks on you before you could eat the icing off your Sweet 16 cake are tired and superfluous in making analogies to today's economy and society. First of all, most of your griping makes it sound like you're just jealous of your kids and the opportunities they have...opportunities you worked your ass off to give them. Be proud of how you have given your children more opportunities than your parents gave you! Second, your griping means nothing when your actions reinforce the bratty expectations of your children. Telling them you can't keep paying for them while you keep paying for them means nothing. It's like telling your kid they can only have one last cookie and 10 cookies later you are rushing to Trader Joe's because you ran out of cookies and Johnny is about to throw a temper tantrum.

It seems to me both boomerangers and baby boomers are in a stage of arrested development. The boomerangers are still clinging to the umbilical cords of privilege yet the baby boomers are gripping the other end as well. I think both need to let go so boomerangers can learn to stand on their own two feet and so baby boomers can deal with their empty nests, finally.